How I recover all my pain

some people ask

how come i recover all my pain

due to heartbroken in short period of time

some people take might take more than a month,year or more

and

there someone said to me

"why i saw u like nothing wrong..

when i break with my bf before i cried until my eyes swollen

everyone realized it"

who said i don't sad

it such a lies if i said that i don't cry

i do..but this pain i don't drag to any longer

at first i had been betrayed

i don't cry because

 i thought he not worth for any my tears

but one thing i really upset with myself

i do said all the bad words

that i never use before

to any persons,to anything in the world

and i started to become hater

to any person who involved in this betrayal

this make me feel really bad with myself

when i thinking of it

this pain i thought will be relief by giving another chance to him

but i'm wrong cause i always feel insecure

scare for being hurt again

this lead me asking to break up sometimes

~by this u can see that 

by giving the same man or another man to make u relief ur pain

in term of couple

is not really good solution cause u will feel insecure

scare for being hurt again..

this definitely will not give u happiness~

then for the second times 

i had been betrayed by the same people

i do learnt something

no more bad words

but i istighfar to hold my anger

this time i do cry a lot

 it such the mixed feeling

maybe cause i hold that to long then it burst

when rational thinking came

i wipe all my tears cause of love between humans

start to think all my sins before

try to think in positive ways

Alhamdulillah.. what i want to said here

back to Allah is the best solution

my heart was sick

i relief it with zikrullah..

a lot of reading of islamic articles

blogwalking at islamic post

a lot of du'a after prayer

taubat for all my sins before

watch utube for islamic talk
read mathurat every morning n night
cause it remind me
why we are here
 in this world

then this heart fill with only Allah

this make me more calm & happier 

as no more scare for being hurt again

one of my friend said he had been break up

then said after this he will feel lonely

his heart will empty

but i said to him,love is only one part of life

there are a lots more of our responsibility in our life
getting closer to another woman to hear all his pain
will not work

from be the hater i'm try to forgive
it makes me believe
Allah is better planner

i do heard some people said when woman get break up
and get new bf
"that women can't live without man lah"
nauzubillah.i don't want to b like this
even when i lies to person who betrayed me
that i get new bf that much better than him before
he said why can't i just single like my friends
is that i really need man that much
in fact i'm not that type of person
i can b single
until there are someone means to be together with me
insha Allah
it such the reverse situation now between me and him
but nevermind

"Allah pegang hatiku dari pesona dunia"

Death note: pray me istiqamah with this..really need it.help me..
lets me know if i do anything wrong..May Allah bless u for the kindness =)