How I recover all my pain

some people ask
how come i recover all my pain
due to heartbroken in short period of time
some people take might take more than a month,year or more

there someone said to me
"why i saw u like nothing wrong..
when i break with my bf before i cried until my eyes swollen
everyone realized it"

who said i don't sad
it such a lies if i said that i don't cry
i do..but this pain i don't drag to any longer

at first i had been betrayed
i don't cry because
 i thought he not worth for any my tears
but one thing i really upset with myself
i do said all the bad words
that i never use before
to any persons,to anything in the world
and i started to become hater
to any person who involved in this betrayal
this make me feel really bad with myself
when i thinking of it

this pain i thought will be relief by giving another chance to him
but i'm wrong cause i always feel insecure
scare for being hurt again
this lead me asking to break up sometimes

~by this u can see that 
by giving the same man or another man to make u relief ur pain
in term of couple
is not really good solution cause u will feel insecure
scare for being hurt again..
this definitely will not give u happiness~

then for the second times 
i had been betrayed by the same people
i do learnt something
no more bad words
but i istighfar to hold my anger
this time i do cry a lot
 it such the mixed feeling
maybe cause i hold that to long then it burst

when rational thinking came
i wipe all my tears cause of love between humans
start to think all my sins before
try to think in positive ways
Alhamdulillah.. what i want to said here
back to Allah is the best solution

my heart was sick
i relief it with zikrullah..
a lot of reading of islamic articles
blogwalking at islamic post
a lot of du'a after prayer
taubat for all my sins before
watch utube for islamic talk
read mathurat every morning n night
cause it remind me
why we are here
 in this world

then this heart fill with only Allah
this make me more calm & happier 
as no more scare for being hurt again

one of my friend said he had been break up
then said after this he will feel lonely
his heart will empty
but i said to him,love is only one part of life
there are a lots more of our responsibility in our life
getting closer to another woman to hear all his pain
will not work

from be the hater i'm try to forgive
it makes me believe
Allah is better planner

i do heard some people said when woman get break up
and get new bf
"that women can't live without man lah"
nauzubillah.i don't want to b like this
even when i lies to person who betrayed me
that i get new bf that much better than him before
he said why can't i just single like my friends
is that i really need man that much
in fact i'm not that type of person
i can b single
until there are someone means to be together with me
insha Allah
it such the reverse situation now between me and him
but nevermind

"Allah pegang hatiku dari pesona dunia"

Death note: pray me istiqamah with this..really need me..
lets me know if i do anything wrong..May Allah bless u for the kindness =)

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